Beaten today but not tomorrow

I have been posting notes to this blog for about two years. For the most part, I have covered my running (the good, the bad and the ugly) and my battle with Psoriatic arthritis (which also has its own good, bad and ugly). I like to say to others that as I have written note after note for your “reading enjoyment,” these notes have improved over time and been useful in one manner or another. It dawned on me this morning, as I finished up another of JK Rowlings books, it occurred to me that this blog has become a case study of sorts – tests and trials on what works and does not while running and battling PsA. 

Like the Cuckoos Calling (shown above), the answer to who killed Lula Landry and many of my issues sits directly in front of me. It does not sit in the shadows and show it’s face when it wants to. It is right out in the open to see each day and with every rise out of bed in the morning. It is visible every three to four weeks with me when the joints in my fingers and wrist start to tighten and my jaw begins to shift. It is with the psoriasis on parts of my body and the pain they shoots through the body when the weather is not great. The answer to my problems is as simple as the rule Ockham’s Razor

“Among competing hypotheses, the one with the fewest assumptions should be selected.”

The root cause of my problems has been and will always be Psoriatic arthritis. The flareups create phantom injuries and when there phantom injuries occur, the body is forced to compensate. With this comes additional injuries like a fall of dominos. I am unsure where my back problems that I have been rehabbing of late originated from (in terms of what compensation was being made) but in the end, PsA probably set things in motion with the constant state of flare I dealt with all of December. 

So this morning, as my alarm sounded in my iPhone and I hit the snooze button at 4:45, I sat there and questioned why this morning was I in a state of pain with my jaw shifting and my wrists in pain. I sat there wondering, as the alarm continued to ring every 10 minutes, why am I bothering to get up for the gym to ride a bike (which is the only real exercise I can do at the moment outside of the exercises given to me by the PT)? I weighed the reasons, for and against, getting up each time the bellowing alarm from my phone sounded and I continued to hit snooze. Over and over I repeated this till 5:45 when I decided to skip the gym and just go into the office earlier. 

One could say I am depressed from this lingo but it is not such. I am frustrated. Just when I am starting to feel better from all the great work the PT is doing, my PsA comes storming into my life once again. The shift in my jaw that occurs more often than not with the flares, hurts and makes it hard to eat. The pain in my wrists makes it hard to do certain things with my hands. The frustration builds up and gets in the way of the day ahead. Thus, the exercise I went through this morning was simply, a PsA battle that I lost! 

I have said over and over that PsA is a continuous battle that one needs to beat on an physical means and emotional level. One cannot work without the other as this mornings example demonstrates. Today I lost a battle against this disease but tomorrow and the following day, I will win again! In fact, today will serve as a reminder that no matter how little a thing I have to get up for, PsA will NOT GET IN THE WAY!  

Thanks for reading as always!


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